Meet my son

Langston Jett-Edward Johnson

At 26 weeks and 3 days, my son, Langston, was born. It was March 17, 2012 at 4:42 pm.  He weighed 1 pound and 14 ounces and was 13 inches long.  He was immediately intubated with a breathing tube, and wheeled away to Vanderbilt's Stahlman NICU. He was in Bed 1 in Room 1 of the NICU.  Sometime during the night, we aren't sure when, our son was extubated. This means that his breathing tube was removed.  This happened because our son was breathing on his own. We were excited about this milestone, because we were told that he had a 50% chance of surviving. Boy, did our little guy show them.  He survived his first night, but his parents barely.  The first night  was completely overwhelming and unnerving for the hubby and me. We panicked if the phone rang, and the hubby left my room often throughout the night to visit our son at Stahlman. 

Leading up to his birth:
After being moved to the labor and delivery monitoring room, my bleeding increased profusely.  It was determined that I may have an infection, and was then put on antibiotics.  The doctors ordered an ultrasound to determine if baby was head down, and if so, I was having a vaginal delivery!  SAY WHAT!!  I wasn't ready to deliver my son.  It was too soon, it was just too soon, I thought.  But yet again, God's plans are not our own. 

After determining that our sweet boy was head's down, the doctors decided that I was in labor (DUH, MY WHOLE BODY HURTS AND I'M BLEEDING LIKE CRAZY, OF COURSE I'M IN LABOR!!!). The allowed labor to take it's course and I was given an epidural around noon.  I proceeded to dilate, and was given Pitocin to speed up the process.  At 4:38, my husband sent a text to my mother-in-law to let them know I was dilated to 5 and at 4:42 my son entered this world. 

Now before I gave birth to Langston, I was delirious.....not just from the pain, but from the events of the day as well.  Between my mother "coaching" me through the pain, the thoughts of us losing our son, and the sheer fact that I was about to have a baby, I was a basket case.  There are reports of me singing gospel songs as well me screaming at my mother.  I remember some of these things, but not all.  I'm told that this to be expected. 

Being in the hospital, and hearing healthy full term babies being wheeled to their parents' rooms was hard for me.  I kept questioning God, and wondering why I was going through this. I was already so angry with God for all the previous events, and then I realized that being upset with God meant nothing.  He knew what He was doing when he decided that Langston was to be born on that day.  I just had to work through my emotions to discover that.....

The NICU Rollercoaster is up next..........

And it continues

After hearing the news that I would be on bed rest for the remainder of the school year, the doctor also determined that steroid shots would be in my best interest. So on February 29, I received my first dose and on March 01, I received my second shot.  On February 23rd, I went back to the doctor and was put on "moderate" bed rest.  I was allowed to atted my master's class on Saturdays and possibly return to work sometime in April.   This same day, our POD was delivered to our first home and we (my husband and our families) began packing us up.  it was so sad to see all our belongings packed away and my husband and I leaving our first home as a married couple.  It was a very definitive end to our chapter as a family of two and the beginning of our a family of three.  Yet, as the POD was parked in front of our home, I felt our sweet baby boy move and groove to the sounds of the machines.  I remember looking to my husband and saying that Baby LJ likes big trucks.  HA!

March seemed like a good month.  Everyday that I stayed pregnant was progress.  During my bed rest, I planned my entire pregnancy, finished up a class that I was taking for my master's and spending lots of quality time with the baby.  We read books and sang songs, and I ordered lots of cute little items for his nursery. I was feeling good about things, and knew in my heart of hearts that I was delivering a full term, happy, and healthy baby boy in June of this year.

BUT......God's plans are not our own, and on March 13th at 6:19 in the morning, my water broke.  I felt my son move and groove, and he was active for a pretty good length of time.  We called my mom and rushed to Gateway! My best friend, Shelley was called and showed up as well. After determining that my water was officially broken I was transported to Vanderbilt Medical Center via ambulance.  I had never been in an ambulance before and it was definitely an experience.   We entered through the emergency door and Baby LJ and I were immediately placed on a monitor.  Throughout this whole ordeal, Baby LJ seemed unphased. His heart rate and vitals remained stable and the doctors determined that he could remain in my belly until I reached 34 weeks.  That day is today. I would have been in the hospital completely stir crazy for 8 weeks waiting for this day to deliver my son.  God had different plans for us though.

After being monitored for 20 hours straight, I was moved to my "8 week permanent home".  My husband and mom tried to make it as cozy as possible, but it was still a hospital room.  My depression got even worse. 

On March 16, I was given the glucose test and failed miserably.  This made matters even worse.  My thoughts were....I'M IN A HOSPITAL FOR 8 WEEKS AND I HAVE TO BE ON A DIET, THIS SUCKS!!.  And I was angry.  I was so angry, especially with God.  I prayed and prayed asking that my son be born in June happy and healthy. Then I prayed that I would pass my glucose test. 

Then the night of March 16, my husband decided to return to Clarksville to get some rest.  He had to return to Nashville at 6 in the morning, because the status of my pregnancy had changed and quickly. 

During the night, I felt pressure in my lower abdomen, and it was unfamiliar to me.  I called the nurse and she immediately called the doctor.  The doctor checked my cervix and said that all was clear.  However, after returning the restroom, I relayed to my nurse and doctor that Freddie and Jason have entered my womb and it does not look pretty.  I was immediately moved back to the monitoring room in labor and delivery. 

The story of my son's delivery and birth will be up tomorrow.....STAY TUNED!!

The Beginning

I'm ready to share his story.  I'm ready to tell the world about my sweet miracle baby, but I must start from the beginning.

In October of 2011, we found out we were pregnant.  We didn't have any difficulty conceiving.  We had been trying to conceive for three months, and BANG....we were pregnant.

My pregnancy went smoothly.  Naturally, being pregnant for the first time was an experience and I was scared most of the time.  I tried taking people's advice to "enjoy the pregnancy", but it was difficult. I'm a natural worrier.  It's what I do.  So of course, I did what I do best and that's WORRY.  To deal with the worry and journal the pregnancy I began a secret baby blog called landofbabymaybe.blogspot.com


On November 15th, we heard our sweet baby's heartbeat for the first time.  IT WAS SO STRONG AND LOUD.  Tears began streaming down my face when it was confirmed that there was ONE sac and a good strong heartbeat.  God is SO GOOD, I thought to myself.  I turned to my husband who was smiling from ear to ear, and I continued to weep softly.  The love my husband and I have for each other manifested itself into a sweet little sac with a heartbeat in my womb, and it was beautiful.

My monthly appointments continued to go well.  I had routine ultrasounds and monitoring of the heartbeat, and on December 7th, we announced our pregnancy to the world.  It was not only announced to our school faculty (I'm a teacher), but my husband and I announced to the internet via Facebook. We were overwhelmed by the amount of congratulatory wishes on our pregnancy.  We couldn't have been more excited to share our bundle of blessings to the world.

Christmas of 2011 was extra special.  Our families blessed us with many gifts that were baby centered, and we couldn't help but imagine what the next Christmas would be like for us as a family of three.  We laughed as we thought about the fact that this Christmas was the last for us to receive gifts and that our sweet baby would be the center of attention from here on out.

In January, we found out the sex of our child.  While visiting the Love My Baby Bump 3D spa, we were told that our bundle of love was a BOY!! We were ecstatic, I had a hunch that my baby was a boy, and to have it confirmed was truly AWESOME.  My father, who had longed for a son, cried as he saw the image of his grandson on the screen.  My husband was truly in shock and was totally speechless.  My mother was just in love with the baby on the screen and screamed with delight after hearing the announcement, she immediately called my sister to share the news with her. I could hear my sister screaming through the phone. .  It was good times for all.  Unfortunately, my father-in-law could not be in attendance, but he was called to hear the great news, and he was beyond HAPPY.  My mother-in-law and sister-in-law were so excited as well.  Happy feelings were flowing all around. 

February was a big month for the Johnson Family.  We were approaching the half way mark of our pregnancy.  And on February 10th we had our 20 week ultrasound.  It was supposed to be Feb. 3rd but there was a mix up between my Ob-Gyn and the Imagining center.  The hubby met me after school at our appointment, and we sat and laughed talking about our sweet boy and his activeness.  We were so excited to see him again, and hear his sweet heartbeat.   We went in for our ultrasound and waited for the our disc to take home. This is NOT what happened. 

After our ultrasound, we returned to the waiting room, and were called back to the ultrasound room shortly thereafter.  Immediately, my heart SANK.  Literally it sank to the floor!!  The radiologist told us that my cervix was shortened and that I was leaking fluid, and we needed to report to labor and delivery at Gateway Hospital.  We grabbed our things, and my husband drove like a bat out of hell towards the hospital.  The hospital was only a few miles away, but it felt like a 200.  We got there, and checked in.  As we drove to the hospital, I called my mom and my best friend, who showed up at the hospital shortly after receiving my call.  My sister was also called, and she began to share with me some research about the procedure she thought I would have to have.

We had to have another ultrasound done, and our sweet baby boy seemed okay.  He wasn't distressed and I wasn't showing any signs of labor.  However, after a exam of cervix, it was determined that I needed a cerclage.  The doctor who didn't have the best bedside manner, informed us that no matter what we decided (either to have the cerclage or not), we would lose our sweet boy. I began screaming and wailing, and then I suddenly stopped.  I got this peace that I had never felt before.  God touched me at that very moment, and told me that everything was going to be alright.  I had the procedure done, and it was found discovered that my cervix was dilated to 2 cm.  However, none of the concerns that the doctor told us were present.  We were relieved and grateful. 

After receiving the cerclage, I remained in the hospital overnight for observation and was released in the morning.  I was on bedrest from Feb. 10 until my next appointment on Feb. 15th, and on that day I was told that I would be on the bedrest until my due date of June 20th.  I was so sad.  I couldn't see my students who I loved. I couldn't visit friends, shop, eat out, drive, or do ANYTHING.  My parents suggested that we move in with them, and we did.  We lived with them for a little over a month, and to say it was interesting would be the understatement of the year.  It was not the greatest time of my life, and having depression during that time didn't have make it any easier.  My month of bedrest and surprising turn events will be in the next post......STAY TUNED!!